How To Amazon

This is Lighten Up! but specifically for entertainment at Amazon’s expense.

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Ya gotta spell it out for them a few more times me thinks.

Kinda like those phone systems or chat bots where you have to enter all your information into the system and then when they connect you to the real live agent you have to give it all to them again. And about a minute later, they ask for each bit of information over again. Then they transfer you to the correct department and they ask for the information all over again.

they of course can’t help you but sure enough you wind up having to cancel and replace all your credit cards after that.


Oh, we ourselves have a template crafted for just such a situation:

Unsurprisingly - and despite having skated on some pretty thin ice in mincing the gist of that template in a more-delicate fashion a time or two over the years - it has remained unused.

To be fair, when Amazon first outsourced the lower echelons of its support infrastructure with the original contract w/ Concentrix back in the middle years of the previous decade, it became de rigueur to lead those reps (who often enough command English only in an ESL fashion) by the hand, so I would have probably used a ‘short description’ like this:

“ASIN B00GMQ2PZY has been incorrectly suppressed from the Amazon Global Catalog”

You can always lead a horse to water - but sometimes ya have to force it to drink.

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Why don’t you respond and just send them that image?


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They would so ignore that

Latest example of Amazon’s fast shipping time for Prime customers… Order I placed on Aug 12 has now been pushed back to delivery on the 26th.

26 - 12 = 14 days = 2 weeks.

So… Now Prime 2 day shipping is 2 week shipping.

In this case, Amazon is the joke and we have been punched with their line (about fast shipping service).

(I am both a Buyer and a Seller on the Zon. and as a buyer, I see what fresh hell they put our customers through, but gain tricks of the trade for both sides)

I would like “Lighten Up!” to get back to the jokes and cartoons please, and thank you.

Oh wait, you are roasting Amazon, that is a joke.

:woman_facepalming: :man_facepalming: :laughing:

It happens during random multiple bot passes checking on the order’s status …
Pass 1 = days
Pass 2 = ways
Pass 3 = weys
Pass 4 = wees
Pass 5 = week
The bot that checks phonics then takes a pass and ooh la la …
Pass 6 = weeks
And you get the corrected Prime 2 weeks promise …

Now wasn’t that nice …