Someone read the scammers guide (customer e-mail)

Got this message from a customer

This flashlight was opened out of box and will not work. It comes with batteries. Those do not help turn it on. It would not work with another 5 separate sets of 3 batteries. Totally defective. I will appeal credit card. You cannot sell me something that NEVER WORKED. Got it this weekend. Was busy with legal work since. First chance to open it and switch batteries out was tonight. Please reply.

First off very poor English.
Then why would anyone try 5 sets of batteries.
Straight into threats to do a credit chargeback.
Busy with “legal work” - OMG I am dealing with a lawyer LOL
Email was sent at 3am customers time.
Name on account does not match the recipient name. - Huge red flag for drop shippers.

Reply with our return instructions form letter(which includes our return address) and in this case the customer purchased a discontinued item. We test each one of these before we ship them. The manufacturer will replace them with a newer version, but these old ones are far more reliable then the new stuff this manufacturer makes. so some people want this specific model.

I want to return it. Your long narrative about policies is frustrating the process. It said no returns when I asked for one. Frankly, I do not care if it was tested before shipping. It arrived in defective condition. You sent it by mail in flimsy packaging. It did not arrive intact in the box. The box was smashed down and the light was not in the box entirely either in your tiny envelope. You know what? I will deal with Amazon after I write a very accurate Review!

We all know everything can be returned on amazon. You have to upload a list of return exempt items (we have single use disposable items that we used to sell on Amazon). -Red flag again also why was this not stated in the first place?

You cannot sell me something that NEVER WORKED.
accusation was addressed and met with

Frankly, I do not care if it was tested before shipping. It arrived in defective condition.

The box was smashed down and the light was not in the box entirely either in your tiny envelope.

Know this to be a lie because the light barely fits in it’s own box and we have to pack them in there

I will deal with Amazon after I write a very accurate Review!

Ah yes the threat of first a credit chargeback now negative feedback Threaten away. I am not a refund monkey (hey look we can say that again)

I refuse to pay shipping on defective merchandise. Send a label. I will sent it in same crappy torn little envelope packet you sent it in and tape the thing up.

It went one state over (50 miles) and was delivered overnight. (to an apartment complex) Items tend to get destroyed in the mail when there is a delay (the destruction tends to be the cause of the delay).

You have been sent instructions on how to open a return request. We have verified there is no block on the item making it non returnable. Amazon will issue you a return label when the request is submitted.
If you are having difficulty try calling Amazon customer service.
Thank you

Every response came within 5 min and radio silence since this last message.


In other words, “dangit, I can’t get them to just refund.”

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I would further add, that we have a template letter for this that basically says, “Here, your return is authorized.” Then we tell them where to go to do the return.

Most go quiet at that point. Some go “Nuclear”. At that point we report them and then copy and paste the same return text again and again.

I hate people like this. The evil that hides online is just down right scary.


We provide a link in a message template for these types…


Order#: [ORDER_ID]
Item(s): [ASIN]

We are sorry you are unhappy with your order.
Please start the return process by clicking the link below and following the steps for a return label:

Please read carefully the RETURN INSTRUCTIONS that will appear on the form with the label once the return request process has completed.


There is a reason why there is a Report Message button.

First email (even if offensive in nature) = Standard reply with Amazon Policy and instructions that address their request.

Second email (depending on how offensive) = A repeat of a slight variation of the standard reply give in first email … if extremely offensive, then we report the message and select the appropriate reason.

Third email … mark as No Response Needed and again report the email.

If a customer is not civil and tries to bully us, sorry … their being reported and No Response Needed is clicked.

We will work with anyone that is reasonable.


Nicely done and an interesting read.

Wish this was true. Amazon has blocked returns on most personal care / health related items and all it does is lead to the fake return reason “Product Not as Described” which really gets the bots horn y to take action on innocent listings / sellers.

I agree with the buyer’s mentality that everything should be returnable.

Blocking returns on 20-30% of what you sell is very customer centric Jeff. Good job.

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I’m confused - how is requesting a return via a message a “scam”? I may be a completely cockeyed optimist, but not everyone is a skilled user of Amazon’s (or ANY!) e-commerce website.
I even get letters with checks inside from Amish farmers who buy my product “by mail”, so I see all levels of “ability”.

because they didn’t start out requesting a return. The language used is typical of those trying to scam a free item by making the seller pay them to go away.