Kinda reminds me of selling on Amazon…
“Dear Hotel Customer: Please Stop Kicking the Front Desk” essay from May 23, 2024 WSJ.
"Our team would love to assist you with any charges you wish to dispute on your hotel bill. We are thrilled you chose to stay with us and we’re certain there is a perfectly good explanation as to why your visit ended up costing “five times as much” as you thought it would. Our amenities program is in place to ensure you have an extraordinary experience, and as you know: The best things in life don’t come free.
As a valued member of our hotel family, you are entitled to understand that our Resort and Destination Fees cover an array of services by our gourmet chefs, personal trainers and massage professionals. These were available to you around the clock. It is certainly not their fault that you didn’t pay them a visit, or in fact know that they existed.
I understand it is upsetting you, but the daily $16 Wi-Fi Fee could have been avoided by signing up for our hotel’s loyalty program, which includes access to our lobby and complimentary Wi-Fi at the low rate of $17 a night.
As for the Minibar and Snack Charges, it doesn’t matter that you didn’t eat the snacks. According to our sensors, the food items were repositioned and are thus considered consumed. That is not “weird.” What’s “weird” is moving snacks around in the refrigerator and not eating any.
I’m going to request that you stop yelling about the In-Room Cocktail Station Fee. Yes, the In-Room Cocktail Station could be called a “regular table,” but its intended use is to create craft cocktails. We unfortunately can’t force you to enjoy your vacation to the max, but we can charge as if you did.
To maintain our exemplary standards, we must incorporate a Personal Care and Toiletries Charge. While the toilet-paper roll didn’t explicitly say that it cost $5, it didn’t explicitly say “free,” either. I disagree with your characterization of our business practices as “garbage,” but I will point out that refuse services are not included in the Personal Care and Toiletries Fee.
If you would stop kicking the front desk for just a moment, I can give you more information about the In-Room Bag Storage Fee. The initial cost was for access to the hotel room—this fee ensures the safeguarding of personal belongings in the room when you step away from your ‘home away from home.’ If you don’t think that is worth a measly $57 a day, then you must not value your possessions as much as we do.
I feel your pain, but there is no way that we can waive the Shared Walkway Fee, especially considering the amount of luggage you transported to and fro. Oof—did you take the stairs? No? Then we’re going to have to tack on the Elevator Upkeep Charge. That is an additional $8 a day.
We take negative reviews on travel advisory sites seriously and we don’t doubt your influence among the 30-odd family members, friends and former co-workers on your Facebook page. We must insist that we’ve been completely transparent about our pricing, including the fee for the Room Circulation Device (yes, “the window”), and the other charges. Just look where it says, “Other.”
We sincerely thank you for paying the amount due and are truly saddened to hear that you intend to never return. To make up for this experience, we wish to offer you 10% off another stay at our hotel. We hope you will take the time to enjoy the In-Room Cocktail Station, of course."