Real World Seller Polls - Comedy Break

  1. Amazon seller support is as competent as a stoned McDonalds worker.
  2. If Amazon Seller Support worked the Deli counter at your local grocery store and you asked then for 8 ounces of turkey, they would not need to call a manager for help.
  3. At least one percent of seller support tickets are resolved on the first response.
  4. If Amazon were to go bankrupt you would feel extreme sorrow.
  5. You would rather contact Seller Support than have all of your teeth extracted due to some exotic disease.
  6. If you were forced to lend $10 to a fidgeting crackhead or an Amazon Seller Support representative, you would choose the Amazon rep.
  7. Amazon does not behave with monopolist tendencies.
  8. Amazon FBA workers have mastered 2nd grade math.
  9. You get a warm and fuzzy feeling at least 1 percent of the time when dealing with Seller Support.
  10. Its possible to get a simple clear answer from Seller support in at least 1 percent of cases you have opened.
  11. You feel that more than 80 percent of product reviews for Chinese based listings are real.
  12. Amazon respects its third party sellers.
  13. If Seller Support were a fast-food worker, you would genuinely trust and appreciate the service received.
  14. If ANY other sales platform existed that could match at least 80 percent of Amazon traffic, and you were forced to make a decision between the two, you would stick with Amazon.
  15. Scenario: Amazon seller support is working the register at your local grocery store and the total came to $6.10. The act of giving them $11.10 will not cause mass confusion, including upper management / police, resulting in a store closure for the day and you being arrested for fraud.
  16. You would personally hire an Amazon Seller Support representative to handle simple tasks, such as sweeping the floor or cleaning toilets, at your business.
  17. Amazon does not have internal fraud.
  18. You feel that Amazon Seller Support, is not capable of damaging or costing you hundreds of thousands of dollars due to ignorant mistakes.
  19. If you were hired to manage the Amazon seller support team, you would not fire 95 percent of the staff within the first month.
  20. You feel the neighbors 6-year-old booger picking child is less competent than the average Seller Support representative.
  21. Polls offered on Amazon are not carefully worded in order to prevent the obvious failure of said topic.
  22. Recent layoffs at Amazon give you the felling of extreme sadness and empathy.
  23. If an Amazon Seller Support Representative were involved in a car accident and required assistance, you would stop to help on not keep driving after a brief shrug of the shoulders.
  24. You trust Amazon Seller Support in some extremely minor capacity.

But that McDonald’s worker probably lives in their parent’s basement and therefore unlike the Amazon Support guy not homeless.

Inside The New Homeless Shelter At Amazons Headquarters

Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up!

Well actually, you can…to clarify, the Amazon-affiliated homeless shelter was used during the pandemic to ease shelter difficulties with social distancing, by providing space for houseless families–not for its own employees.